I am far past the days where I quote songs in my Facebook status in an effort to communicate my feelings to the almost 1,000 friends I have (unreal, I know..I’m working on getting down to at least 800). However, I am very good at relating song lyrics to life situations. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to a friend “Well, as The Fray say sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.” Perfect way to convince my best friend to break up with her good-for-nothing boyfriend, right?
Yesterday, as I was downloading new songs for my Group Fitness class playlists, I came across a song lyric that I think relates pretty well to my life right now. And if you have the same problem I do, it can relate to your life as well. The song–Brave, by Sara Bareilles–is featured in the video at the top of the page. The lyric I speak of is written below. It’s short and simple, but sometimes the most powerful things in life are.
“I wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say and let the words fall out. Honestly, I wanna see you be brave.”
How does this relate to my life, you ask? I have a hard time saying no to people. I commit to things I know I don’t have the time or money for because I don’t know how to tell that person no…especially if it’s face to face. I used to be so uncomfortable saying no or offering an alternate possibility that I would avoid and ignore the situation. While this worked in the short term, not only did these issues hang over my head, but acting this way was immature and showed a lack of control over my own life. It has been a big lesson for me to learn–to speak up, say what I want to say, and take control over my own life. I’ve also become quite in tune with my own instincts and feelings. I know now that if an opportunity that presents itself to me does not “feel right,” that I shouldn’t do it. If I feel uneasy, hesitant, or I am dreading it, chances are it isn’t for me and I should just shut the book and move on.
Lesson I have learned: You are not obligated to do anything. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to decide what is best for you. You are allowed to be number one in your life. Don’t just say yes because you feel bad saying no. If your gut is leaning towards no…say no. Don’t commit to something you know you won’t be able to put 100% into, whether its because you don’t have the time, don’t know how, or simply don’t want to. Not only will this not benefit you, it won’t benefit the other party either. Lesson I have learned in relation to above lesson: If you do commit, suck it up and put in your all. The other party shouldn’t suffer because you overcommitted or committed to something you don’t truly want to do. Put in your all until you find a graceful way to exit.
So say what you want to say. Be brave enough to say no to situations you know you don’t belong in.